When I was a yuppie (a young person with a well-paid job and fashionable lifestyle), I felt like a robot. Waking up early, preparing to go to work, work 8 hours or more in a day, go home, watch tv, and sleep. This became my daily routine. I was happy during the early times. Then, it came to a point where I was looking for meaning in my life. Why am I doing all this?
At that time, I was the bread-winner of our family. I know they need me, but that reason was not enough for me to accept why I am doing the things I do everyday. It felt that there is something missing. And I feel incomplete.
Then the chance to be a mother came. And everything changed. Big time I can say. Suddenly everything has a purpose. Everything has a meaning. Every decision big or small will affect not just me but somebody else. My little angel.
Those times that I was younger, I wasn’t afraid of anything. I was never careful of myself. When my daughter came, I become so afraid of almost everything. I was afraid to hurt myself or what would happen to me because I might not be able to provide for her. To take good care of her.
At those times, I just decide on what I should buy for myself in the grocery or the department stores. Now, I always forget to buy myself anything when I go there. My cart will always be filled with things that are meant for her.
Those younger times, after a failed relationship, I look forward to another. To heal my broken heart. But now, I don’t even care if I find someone new. I just think of my daughter’s future. How I can give her a good life. Of what I will do to help her reach her own dreams.
And during those times, I wasn’t aware of what my parents feel. Now, I appreciate them more. Especially my own mother. Because now, I know how she feels. The unconditional love that she gave us was the same love I am giving my little one.
I guess when you become a parent yourself, you realize how important you’re parents were. And you become selfless. Parenthood opens your mind to the greater meaning of life. ♥